I Can't Be Her
by Rebeca13
Summary: They were alike, but at the same time, so very different. No matter how much she might have tried, she would never be like the other kunoichi. Maybe that's why he hadn't chosen her. But in the end, it didn't matter. Her desires weren't important. It was only about Sasuke's happiness. For him, she'd contently shoulder all the pain - because love means sacrifice.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.**

 **Warning:** This won't be a happy love story. I'm trying to go in-depth into a character's mind and analyse the situation from his point of view. I might or not be right. It's not character bashing and I like all these three characters more or less. Please, don't leave mean comments if you don't like the way I see the things.

Ok, don't be mad at me, please. I know that I should be posting at my other story (Mine entirely), but I heard this song and a mind-blowing idea came. I had to write this one-shot to get it out of my system. I will, however, post the next chapter at my other story soon.

Enjoy!

* * *

 _I can't be her_

* * *

 _She loved him._

* * *

He didn't give a damn about her.

She felt _hurt._ The pain was almost unbearable. She wanted to keep a strong façade, but it was slowly fading. It wasn't like her!

She loved him. She truly loved Sasuke. Despite people's belief, he wasn't only an infatuation. She'd loved him for some time now. He broke her heart, and she loved him still. It wasn't an obsession. She craved for affection, for someone capable of protecting her, for someone to look after. She was willing to give him all she had, if only he accepted.

She had proved her sentiments more than once. There was nothing that she could do. Sasuke Uchiha wasn't oblivious to her feelings she thought. He just chose to ignore them. She hoped and she wished… but in vain. At the end of the day, she was only a tool, a means for him to achieve his goals.

The brunet would never respond to her feelings. Not when he was _already_ in love. He might have looked cold as a stone, and he might not have been a saint, but Sasuke was loyal when it was the case. She couldn't imagine him betraying his _wife._

Having him and his lover in the very next room didn't help her if anything, it was an additional torment. She couldn't compete with the other kunoichi who was _so_ powerful. She'd make a good mother for his children.

Some tears caressed her cheeks. Karin used her palm to muffle her cry and scream. She hadn't had a chance from the very beginning.

* * *

 _She hated him_

* * *

He had done her wrong, so many times. He stabbed her, for God's sake! But she would run to him any day if he needed her assistance. He made her weak, soft… powerless. When it came to Sasuke, she'd have given her life for him.

She wouldn't let him now that she still harboured all these for him. It would have made a fool out of herself. She'd rather not give him any advantages over her. Although, she was sure he didn't really care.

She hated him so _badly_ for making her this creature that valued his life more than hers. Karin had tried to get past him after the war ended. She couldn't. Sasuke Uchiha was always on her mind, haunting her even in her dreams.

Every night was a battle with herself. Why wouldn't he consider her? _Why?!_ She was an Uzumaki, she was useful, and she had never betrayed his trust.

And why couldn't she put someone else above him?

And now, _now,_ he had brought his lover to her hideout, because the pink-haired kunoichi was due to the term and he _trusted_ her to take care properly of his wife. He would finally have a baby.

* * *

"Inhale, Sakura. Slowly."

A whimper left the kunoichi's lips.

"It will be fine. Push. A little more."

"Ah!"

"Come on, a few more breath. You can do this!"

Moments later, Karin announced, although only on a half-happy tone.

"Congratulations. You have a daughter."

* * *

It wasn't Sakura's fault that Sasuke had fallen for her. Karin was well-aware of this, still, she envied the girl for her luck. Karin would have killed to have someone looking at her the way the brunet looked at his lover. It was a warmth and love in his eyes which couldn't be described. He seemed to communicate with her only through eye-contact.

Ever so often, when shed let out a cry because of the pain, he'd take her hand reassuringly, and _thank her_. Why, Karin had no idea. But each time Sakura would smile sweetly and squeeze his hand.

The air around them held a certain electricity that she couldn't comprehend. She would never, probably.

He regarded Sakura as if she had been the only woman on his mind this whole time. His face expressed care, love, _gratitude._

He looked so _genuinel_ y happy. It made her clench her fist and grit her teeth. Sasuke had never looked at her in this manner, not even on the numerous occasions she had saved his life. But as long as he was happy, she'd bear the pain. Karin wanted him to be satisfied with his life, to live it as he wanted to, without any further sorrow.

His single arm wrapped around Sakura's shoulders and hugged awkwardly. She was content, nevertheless and cupped his pale face. She'd learnt how to face it, in the end.

The kunoichi arranged the glasses on her nose and retreated to give the couple some intimacy.

… and to go to a place where they couldn't hear her ranged and frustrated yells.

* * *

 _She hated the fact that she loved him._

* * *

She had no hope for a future. Not when he looked so hopelessly in love. Not when Sakura had behaved so warmly and politely towards her.

The couple was about to fly. If it wasn't for Sakura's insistencies, Karin was sure they would have been long gone. It was funny to see how much power the small girl had over the Uchiha shinobi. Sasuke's concern for her wellbeing had played a huge role, though.

Karin looked in the mirror. She wouldn't have wanted to appear in front of them with cried eyes and a messy hair. Sweet and caring as she was, Sakura would have tried to find out what was wrong and to fix it. Unfortunately, no medic could mend a broken heart.

She passed a hand through her dark red locks and let out a deep breath. His wife and she didn't look so different. It only made her cringe.

Sasuke had wanted Sakura. Putting on a small smile, she prayed they never came back. She liked both of them, but it was too hard to see them together.

* * *

"Karin-san, thank you for your help. I don't know what I would've done if it hadn't been for you."

"It would've been fine."

"Let's go, Sakura," her husband's voice could be heard.

"I'm on my way, darling."

The nickname made Karin's heart pound. She hated this day.

"I'm really grateful Karin-san, for the help. I was thinking… would you consider working in Konoha's hospital?"

It left the red-head speechless. That hadn't been something she expected to happen.

"Consider it. Good-bye." With that, she gave her a smile and hugged her briefly.

And that was the moment it clicked in her mind. That was what made her and Sakura different. She would've never been so respectful, or so helping, or trusting. She'd never be so unconditionally loving towards the others. Karin would never be so devoted. She could do a job if she was forced by the situation to, but she wouldn't do it willingly.

 _I can't be her. No matter how much I might try._


End file.
